Tamara points to an old post regarding Mall Ninja, Tac-Tard Hi-Speed Lo-Drag Pseudo-Psycho WannaBe Warriors. Enjoyed reading the comments to that one. Brought up a couple memories of my own.
Gotta say I've never run into a "Stolen Valor" candidate. That's a Special Division of the Poseur Battalion. It takes a Special Breed of
First one was at the ISRA range. It was a blustery raw day in the winter. My son and I were on the pistol range, taking a break between targets. We were approached by a young kid ... maybe all of 21, looked like sixteen. His attempt at a mustache was desperate. His sideburns were in fuzzy competition with his acne. He approached, resplendent in his full head-to-toe Kmart Camo. His response to my "Howdy, how ya doin'?" was "I'm a Navy Seal!" "Is that right?!" I replied. "Yep! Home on leave" he says. Then he proceeded to struggle against the gusty 20 mph winds and gets the trash barrel full of discarded targets fired up with his Bic lighter.
"Now you guys can stay warm" he tells us, walking away, as the wind begins spreading ash, embers and smoke downrange. "What a tool" says me boy, as we moved several lanes upwind from the helpful Seal Team Wanna-B. Ah-Yup.
More recently, Some Young New Guy shows up at the Midwest Range practice league. This Saturday Shootin' was open to shoot a few hours of combat pistol practice. The regular shooters there were composed of a group typical of guys and gals that you'll find at practically any range across the country. Blue collar, white collar, tradesmen, entrepreneurs, cops, mil, former mil, retirees, etc. A real cross-section. Open, accepting and encouraging, leaning conservative, wanting mostly to practice and safely share their love of shooty goodness. So, Some Young New Guy was encouraged to gear up and join the fun. His range bag was nicely made up of the latest digital camo fabric and emblazoned with U.S. Army logo. "My cousin gave it to me as a gift when I was discharged" was the answer when asked where he got the cool bag. His pistol was a nice semi auto in one of the trendiest hot calibers. He was watched closely, as all new shooters to the group are. His shooting was fine. Nothing spectacular. Well, actually, he did have a lot of trouble with failures to feed and other jams. But that's not uncommon with new shooters. This kind of shooting tends to bring out those equipment problems as well. As everyone one was packing it up for the day ... we all noticed that Some Young New Guy had in his range bag one piece of gear that nobody else had thought to bring.
Anyhow ... Everything proceeds apace for a few weeks. Some Young New Guy has been showing up to shoot. He's just a bit odd. Something just doesn't add up. Some Young New Guy keeps to himself. His shooting hasn't improved at all. If anything, he's being watched closer than ever. While he hasn't committed an AD, he's been reminded of sloppy trigger discipline several times. After a couple of weeks one of the guys asks about the grappling hook still in his kit. "Just in case I need it" Ohhh-Kay.
One week we're working on shooting in the dark. The range master sets up the drills behind a curtain. One shooter at a time runs the drill with a flashlight with the range lights off. This leaves 20 or so shooters cooling their heels on the observation deck awaiting their turn. I find myself standing next to Some Young New Guy. I ask him "So, what branch of the service were you in?" "Army" he says. "Oh. Me too" I say. "What was your MOS?" "They never gave me one" SYNG replies. "Ohhhh" says I. Then I knew. SYNG was never in the Army. He was a poseur. It's those little things, y'know?
Nobody ever forgets their MOS. Never saw SYNG again. Mebbe he knew the gig was up.
My MOS as a 91C (Bedpan Shuffler) has been phased out, updated, commingled and morphed.
S'pose muleskinner was a MOS at one time too.
I guess, if yer gonna pretend ... nobody wants to pretend they were a Health Care Specialist.
The Big Green Machine is comprised of many parts. The long logistical tail and all that. What
the Poseurs don't seem to get is that its mostly NOT shooters 'n killers.
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